Leading from a distance - personal learnings

Remote work is hardly surprising for anyone - especially in the area I work in, IT. Software developers, testers, designers have worked remotely for many years now - and it is often claimed to be "the future of the workplace".

However, remote management is not as often talked about.

It is not as straightforward indeed - as a manager, one has few pre-packaged specific tasks to fulfill. As a leader, one shall rather... well, lead. But what is leadership besides communicating to the people, both internally and externally?

For the past seven months I have been located several thousands kilometers away from both my colleagues as well as clients. The business department I am responsible for has more than 30 people. I am visiting our office and our clients on average every 1,5 months. Otherwise, I have on average 3-5 videoconference calls every day (and an impressive amount of e-mails and text chats).

So, here are some reflections so far:

What is good about remote management:

• It pulls you out of your familiar environment, it gives different room for thoughts and innovative ideas
• It provides a push for greater efficiency - being stripped away of usual working methods, you are pushed to think differently
• Whenever you come to office, it feels like a special occasion both for you and your colleagues
• Less disturbance and more room for concentration (like with any remote work)

What is difficult about remote management:

• No social source of motivation (not having your excellent colleagues nearby)
• No possibility to have spontaneous (but meaningful) lunches or talks in the coffee corner
• If there are videoconferences with several people and someone is showing something on the screen or whiteboard, it is difficult to see it
• (this is by far the most difficult) If the Internet connection is slow - or even down - the bad video/audio quality can ruin the whole experience of the calls or videoconferences - and be highly inefficient
• It requires strong discipline (like any remote work)

Additionally, I live in Central Asia, while the office and clients are 3-5 hours "behind" me in Central / Eastern European time zone.

Upsides of working remotely 3-5 hours ahead of the time zones of your colleagues / clients:

• Allows "slow" start of the day - provides flexibility to use this time for sports (e.g. swimming in my case), reading interesting articles or books, playing with kids
• Allows to start working day before everyone else and focus on tasks requiring concentration
• Allows to do personal duties (like shopping, hairdresser etc) in the mornings when there is least demand and fewest other customers

Downsides of being several hours ahead of your colleagues / clients:

• Sometimes need to take meetings during late hours
• Need to operate in 2-3 time zones simultaneously - sometimes creates mental errors as of at which time I have which appointment

Preconditions of remote management - it is only possible if:

• The teams and people in general are, to a very large degree, self-going and autonomous 
• There is a very strong middle-management level (in my case, team leads) 
• There are frequent video conference calls with the key people 
• Need physical presence time-to-time (once every 1-1,5 months in my experience is a good frequency)

All in all, what is my evaluation of this experience so far?

 At times challenging, but very stimulating and useful if not lasting for too long.

I am happy to work in and have a strong impact on an organisation allowing me such management experiments. :)

A proof that environmentally friendly behaviour makes economic sense

One thing I enjoy about living in Almaty, Kazakhstan is an abundant supply of fresh and tasty vegetables, fruits and berries - with so much sun and Uzbekistan (with several harvest a year) being relatively close one gets much better selection than in the Northern Europe.

I do the shopping of fruits and vegetables at the same small store run by a Tajik family. All the berries are packaged in plastic containers like this (and the rest of fruits and vegetables in the countless plastic bags) which come "for free":

It is not a secret that production and throwing away the plastic has created a gigantic problem for the nature - and it only gets worse. So what I did is basically re-using those plastic containers - washing them and bringing back to the family I buy berries from. I did it few times already - and the guys were positively surprised (recycling is not very "in" in Kazakhstan unfortunately).

What have I gotten in return besides a good feeling of doing something good for the environment? Discounts on every shopping I do there plus selection of the freshest stuff (the seller guys have become much more helpful and started to treat me with more special care "Do not take these tomatoes, let me pick better ones for you"). So, every time I go there I not only get a little bit less costly shopping, but also fresh selection - which means less potential waste and less need for an additional shopping.

Environmental behaviour can result in a win-win-win situation (for the seller, for the buyer and for the environment!

Opening bicycle season soon...

My media habits - distingushing between new insights and trash

I have developed certain enduring practices of following media during past 2-3 years. It would be interesting to describe it now and compare it with what it will be in 10 or 20 years...

As for now, I believe I managed to build routines which allow me to stay connected to what happens around, but - on the other hand - not to spend time on stuff which does not bring any value. My work experience as a reporter in different media channels as well as attended journalism studies some years ago have certainly helped me to differentiate between worthwhile sources and - putting it simply - bullshit.

Online newspapers - as a representative of younger generation I obviously often read news on the Internet. However, I do it only once a day, spending between 15 and 30 minutes a day for scanning through the front pages of selected news channels and clicking on the articles I am most interested in. This is mostly to get the overview. Here are some principles I use:

• I rarely read articles in-depth, as I don't want to spend even more time in front of the PC (I do it a lot during the working hours anyway) - and one can quickly grasp the essence by scanning through an article.
• I rarely read online newspapers during the weekend. I prefer not to distract my life with everyday news during some days. At the same time - as I know - the journalists work much less during the weekends - and it is usually junior editors being responsible for updating the content then. Thus, it is hard to expect that much quality in news reports during the weekends.
• I very rarely read the readers' comments. I have an impression that people who write the comments to the articles are those who have too much free time. Having too much free time doesn't for me belong to the signs of a successful person who knows what to do with his/her life. Do I want to read "insights" from bunch of people like that? Normally not. Besides, it is most often biased criticism or whining.

These are the media channels I follow on the regular basis:
postimees.ee (the largest general news channel in Estonia)
epl.ee (the second-largest general news channel in Estonia)
e24.ee (the business news portal in Estonia)
aftenposten.no (the largest general news channel in Norway)
bbc.co.uk (well known British-based international news channel)

These are the media channels that I follow less regularly (around once a week or once in 2-3 weeks):
dn.no (business news portal in Norway)
aripaev.ee (business news portal in Estonia)
dw.de (general news portal in Germany)
Few news portals from Kazakhstan and Russia

Radio podcasts - this is something I am a big fan of. An excellent way to listen to what you want and when you want it. On the way to the office or back home, when preparing breakfast or cooking dinner - I fill these moments of the day with something for my mind as well. This is my main source of current analytical information, debates, interviews and so on. Here is the list of podcasts I download once a week in order to listen to them when I want:

• Raadio Kuku - by far the best serious radio station in Estonia. Several political and society commentary as well as business analysis and IT-related podcasts. In addition, some history.
• Raadio 2 - youthful public radio station in Estonia where I subscribe to one podcast only ("Olukorrast riigist") - summary of the most important news and events in Estonia during the week.
• NRK P2 - the most serious Norwegian public radio broadcast. I subscribe mainly to political and societal podcasts as well as radio documentaries. Unfortunately, business and economics are very poorly represented in Norwegian radio.
• Sveriges Radio - Swedish public broadcast. Here I am mainly interested in economy.
• 8 sidor - easily-read news in Swedish (since my comprehension of Swedish is not at all perfect, it is good to train it with simpler language).
• dw.de - German public broadcasting. Economy and business podcasts are the most interesting for me here.
• bbc.co.uk - BBC has very good podcasts on business and economy as well as radio documentaries.

Press: newspapers and magazines on paper - mainly too much paper to waste, although I will probably subscribe to selected weekly media and business press in the future.

Radio - I don't listen to radio as such. I don't like when someone else decides for me what and when I should listen to, mixing it all with occasional music that I don't necessarily like and with news that I am not necessarily interested in.

TV - I am happy not-owner of a TV-set. Having briefly worked there and having studied it at the university helped me to realize that 90% of content there is bullshit. Entertainment shows, series, sitcoms, reality shows and other trash that is created just for one purpose - to keep you watch the same commercials over and over again. All this trash is created quite skilfully - playing with human's psychology - so that you are waiting for the next episode, next big movie, next show with a sexy TV-presenter you like and so on and so forth.

How about the other 10% - news, good documentaries, occasional good films, insightful TV debates? Well, there is YouTube and other modern tools for that. I can choose what I watch and when I watch it myself - and not being dependent on what some smart-asses in TV editorial boards have decided to.

...well, let's see what will be my personal media field in some decades...

Swimming against the tide?

"You don't plan to stay in Norway? Really?"

That's a very usual reaction to me saying that I have not come to Norway to move here permanently and that my plan is to eventually go back to Estonia. I notice this kind of reaction (manifested verbally or by raising eyebrows) being expressed by both Norwegians, foreigners living in Norway and many in Estonia.

It seems so obvious, doesn't it? Norway is one of the wealthiest and most comfortable countries in the world to live in. Estonia is a relatively poor country of European Union, plagued by unemployment and other social problems. Who would want to exchange these two for the benefit of latter one?

Well, yes, Norway is an amazing country, superior to anything else I have experienced in many respects. But words like ties with my family and sense of responsibility towards my land, the ability to impact the development and to make a real difference are not just empty slogans for me. Perhaps, I am naive... but a certain degree of naivety can be helpful sometimes...

The teacher as a leader

I am in the middle of my first semester as a business school teacher. After seven classes conducted, one large assignment graded, numerous meetings, emails and phone calls with the students, partners and guest lecturers, after reading and preparing material several evenings every week during past few months I feel that I have learned tremendously lot.

One of the most important a-ha moments has been - which I always suspected but never felt that well on my own skin before - that the good teacher really needs to be a good leader. The set of skills required for both roles is undoubtedly very similar. Well, the teacher is the leader of his/her course. But what I refer to here is a good teacher.

I am surely just on my way towards qualifying as a good teacher. But I am extremely thankful for the leadership experience my involvement in AIESEC has given to me. I can't imagine how hard it would be for me to bare the responsibility of teaching without having led several teams and organisations first. Here are but some of the lessons about leadership skills in teaching I have learnt so far:

Lesson #1: There are different styles of teaching, just like there are different styles of leadership. One can choose to be autocratic teacher and exercise one's authority by scaring students off by unforeseen exercises and unexpected difficult questions. Many leaders exercise their authority mostly by fear (of being laid off, of being given too much work and so on). One can choose to be democratic and involving instead - both as a teacher and as a leader.

Lesson #2: Presentation skills are crucial both in teaching as well as in leadership. I have seen too many times professors - and managers - who talk long without noticing (or without being willing to notice?) that their audience is mentally not with them. (I have surely fallen into this trap some times too). However, both students in the class as well as people in the organisations appreciate clear and motivating communication on the topics relevant for them.

Lesson #3: Involving is important in both teaching as well as leadership. It seems to me that many teachers and organisation leaders who have mastered the oral skills think that motivating words alone can move the mountains. However, both the learning curve and effectiveness of work becomes higher when students/members of organisations have a stake in the process. Discussion, group-solving, team-circles - all that works as great methods both in the classroom as well as in the offices.

Lesson #4: Everyone appreciates good feedback. I have given detailed feedback to all groups of students who submitted their assignments to me. After that, several of them wrote in the assessment sheets that I collect in the end of each class that it was the very first time someone at school has given them a real feedback (not just the grade) on the effort they made. There are far too many employees in the business world who get feedback on their work just too seldom too.

Lesson #5: Structured approach and skilful guidance are crucial in both business classes as well as in the business organisations. My students appreciated when I managed to be clear and well-organised, while they got confused when I did not provide good enough guidelines in the process. Every team expects clarity and structure from its leader too.

I am sure that this list will be filled up with more lessons like that. These are just very few initial thoughts I have now. All I want is that all these lessons will help me to become (and constantly challenge me as) both a good teacher and a good leader.

Started my university teaching career

A couple of days ago I had my third class as a lecturer at BI Norwegian Business School (Handelshøyskolen BI). This is something I have been thinking - and sometimes dreaming - about for several years.

In summer I was invited to be responsible for the course "Organisation of New Venture" for Bachelor in Entrepreneurship students. This is a very exciting, yet humbling task. It is a big personal challenge for me too. Despite my long-term involvement as a trainer for several years (first in AIESEC, then for Youth in Action in Estonia and in Norway), I have never been a teacher in formal education before. An additional challenge is that this course is... in Norwegian and all the students are Norwegians. My Norwegian is far from perfect, although I use it on everyday basis.

The building of BI Norwegian Business School in Oslo

Despite these difficulties that I could foresee, I nevertheless took this responsibility - and I am the teacher at the course for around 40 students during this autumn semester (until the end of the year). As this course only takes place once a week late afternoon, I can just as well combine it with my primary work (and with occasional freelance training courses I deliver for Aktiv Ungdom).

Why did I agree? Well, first of all, as mentioned in the beginning of the post, this is something I was imagining to do after some time anyway - I just did not think I was to start precisely now. Higher education, teaching and facilitating are the areas I have been interested in for years. I enjoy contributing to enhancing the knowledge of people and I feel comfortable doing it.


On the other hand, BI Norwegian Business School (or simply BI as it is known in Norway) is among the best business schools in Scandinavia and being part of it on the faculty's side is a great honour for me.

Last but not least, the purpose and the structure of the course have been very appealing to me. The students must start their own student venture in groups during the course - and we cooperate with Junior Achievement in this process. Several organisations such as NHO (Norwegian Employees' Organisation), JCI (mentorship programme),and Oslo City Government (guest lectures) are involved. Besides, I engage several acting entrepreneurs in this process. Thus, I am acting as a facilitator of the course connecting students to different people from the professional world - and support their learning journey by providing a theoretical framework as well as concrete tools to assist them.

I feel I have to be on top of duties every week I meet the students - not an easy task when one is confronted with a heterogeneous and demanding bunch of ambitious young people. It is time-consuming too - as with any teaching assignments, one needs to do quite a lot of work "behind the scenes", before and after the classes. Well, I have evenings and weekends for that whenever I need to... :)

A graduate with a Master's degree!

One of the last memorable moments from the end of 2010 was my graduation ceremony at BI Norwegian School of Management where I pursued my Master's degree for the last two years.

Enlightening books and some very good professors (not all of them) coupled with my interest in a business subject on theoretical level resulted in much better understanding of the area. Academic results were good. I am satisfied with these two years :)

Let's see whether and (and if yes then) when I will enter academia again. Now I am focusing on achieving success in international business and on mastering Norwegian language (along with some projects I am contributing to

Talents back home or six economic reasons for not emigrating

Recently, there came another small positive news from Estonia. Initiated by some proactive people there, a new project has been started some weeks ago. It's called "Talendid koju" (its slogan in English sounds as following: "Let's bring talents back to Estonia"). Its purpose is to facilitate exchange of information between the most outwards-oriented Estonian companies and organisations on one hand, and the talented young people of Estonian origin studying and/or working abroad. The objective is obvious: to make sure that many young people would actually come back to Estonia - those who are uncertain about the future in connection to their homeland.

A very good initiative in any case!

I don't know if I am really qualified to be called a "talent", but I am not yet going back to my homeland. The reason is... love :) My dear reason has come to Norway to study for two years in the Master programme at the very business school which I am graduating from. So, we have decided to stay for another two years in Norway.

Interestingly, many - both in Norway as well as in Estonia - find it so natural that people like me want to stay in Norway for a longer period of time (or even emigrate here)... Well, I love Norway - I am a total fan of this society - it's by far one of the best countries in the world to live. The overall standard of living is without any doubt higher here, the society is on the higher level of development, but...

...here are my six economic reasons why I don't plan to stay much longer in Norway (you never know though):

1) It's nice that there are high salaries in Norway. However, it's somewhat misleading without taking a look at the level of prices. They are prohibitively high in many cases. The average salary might be six times higher in Norway than in Estonia. At the same time, the food prices are 2-3 times, the apartment rents in the capital are 3-4 times, and the beer prices 4-5 times higher in Norway.

2) Well, someone can argue that the difference is still large. Yes, it is. It's especially nice to travel and shop around abroad when having incomes in Norway. But I wrote about the average prices here. As a foreigner, without previous connections and profound understanding of the society, with relatively poor command of the language, you are always naturally limited in (a) what you can achieve and (b) how fast you can achieve it. I have much more natural advantages in Estonia, not abroad. Thus, the probability that I will get higher than average incomes is also higher in Estonia - be it through the paid job or the venture revenues.

3) People don't usually take into consideration additional direct costs involved in the life abroad - costs of travelling home and back, long-distance calls, the need to buy some things you already have back home (which might be more expensive to bring).

4) Norway is a stable well-developed society. What is there to change? What is there to really contribute to? If I was to be happy with an average level of salary and bourgeois everyday security, that would be a good option. My ambitions are definitely higher. I want to feel that I can make THE difference. And it's much higher probability to make this difference in the country like Estonia or Kazakhstan. Thus, there is an opportunity cost translating into lowering personal ambitions when living abroad.

5) Perhaps most importantly, Estonia is the country that I feel the strong mental connection with. My parents and grand-grandparents were born there. I love to be there. I love Estonian nature and Estonian food. That's my place. No further explanation is needed. Thus, there are additional social and emotional costs involved in living abroad for an extensive period of time.

6) It's quite rare I can hear young people from different countries speaking about the responsibility towards their homeland. I feel that I bare this responsibility towards both the nation as a whole as well as my parents. Both have invested in me - with the financial means and otherwise. I feel the moral obligation to pay back - with my efforts, dedication and care.

Thus, taking into account all these costs and the moral reasoning, it's not at all so obvious that you are better off in another country which has higher standard of living than the one you were born to.

Cycling is my passion - 30 km every day

Those who know me better are mostly aware of one of my ultimate passions - cycling. I sincerely believe that the bicycle has been one of the best inventions of the humankind.

I don't use a bicycle for working out. I use it for recreational purposes sometimes. But most of all, a bicycle is a means of transportation for me.

I used to cycle to and from the work/study locations in the different cities I happened to live before - Tartu, Tallinn, Brno and Berlin. The other cities were just not too suitable for biking (like Split with its narrow medieval streets or Almaty with its traffic jams and sometimes crazy driving culture).

This summer I bought a used bicycle (and the basic equipment) here in Oslo (at the picture on the left). Ever since (for almost two months by now) I have not used the public transportation nor any other means of transportation.

It has been a great exercise for me - I live in a totally different edge of the city from the location of my work. The distance is exactly 15 km one way, which means that I am cycling at least 30 km every working day. And the weekend is no different either - whenever I need to get somewhere more far away from my house than a walking distance. Oslo is situated in a very hilly area - thus, my way is always full of going up and down. I bought the water-proof jacket, the trousers and the cover for the shoes - thus, I am cycling in wind and rain as well.

...and I love it!

It takes me just 5-10 minutes more than the bus, yet I am not dependent on any bus schedules, I'm not wasting my time on commuting and I don't contribute to the traffic pollution. And I feel great both physically and mentally every day thanks to the regular physical exercise. I am planning to cycle as long as I can until the snow and ice will appear here in Oslo.

In addition, bicycle has been a great help for me in order to discover Oslo. I have got the detailed maps of the different parts of Oslo outlining interesting sightseeing spots in the city and around - sometimes, in totally unexpected locations. During the past weekends - when I felt like taking a rest from the studies and other duties - I took the bike, the maps and went to discover the city. By now, I can claim I know the city much better than many of its long-term inhabitants.

There is only one friend of mine of my age who, like me, doesn't have the driving license yet. That might sound strange for many. But I don't miss it. I have never had any special passion for cars. How long can I stay without one? Let's see. But for now I am bicycling and hope to continue with it until the old age. In fact, this is so important for me that I am certainly going to consider cycling opportunities as a transportation whenever choosing where to live and work (specific locations).

In general, I see it as one amazing advantage of the Norwegian society. People do a lot of sport here, they spend a great deal of time outside. While families in many other countries waste most of their weekends in the shopping malls and in front of TV, many Norwegian families go for hiking, sailing, fishing, cycling, skiing, and so on instead (of course, Norwegians shop around and watch TV too). I feel very comfortable with this aspect of the Norwegian society.

I have done terrible mistakes

I often think about it - and it troubles me. In order to get rid of at least part of such troubling thoughts, I'd write about them here. Public confession may make my feeling of guilt smaller.

What troubles me is that I have done terrible mistakes in my life. Well, everyone does them, and nobody is able to live a life without them. But what troubles me the most are those mistakes that have hurt other people. Sometimes it were people who used to be very close to me.

I used to behave in a selfish way.

I used to to say things simply out of vainness, because I enjoyed attention.

I used to be very careless to the feelings of people around me.

I was choosing not to tell some things out of pure self-interest.

I used to say things just because they made me feel I impressed someone, because I wanted to be perceived smart.

I used to behave in such ways for many years, and as long ago as in 2008-2009, after I had gone through tremendous self-discovery process of leadership and taking responsibility for other people.

I regret my behaviour. I regret what I did to some other, very good, people. I wish these people were in the same town as me now - I would just go and meet with them... and say: "I'm sorry". Even though they might not even remember what did I do to them.

A strong wish to do it was provoked by one particular radio documentary from BBC that I listened to a few weeks ago - a story of how a former prison guard at Guantanamo Bay detention centre sought reconciliation with two of his former prisoners. It turned out they were innocent people and were taken as prisoners by the U.S. force by mistake.

I have not been a prison guard, yet I know I did hurt the feelings of some good people. I hope such mistakes will mainly stay in the past (is it ever possible to avoid them?). I hope I will be a better person in the future.

Impressions from St.Gallen Symposium in Switzerland (vol.2)

The part of the St.Gallen Symposium in Switzerland in the beginning of May was a debate involving some successful intelligent people from different areas - academia, social entrepreneurship, corporate life, government. The topic of the debate was "Choose your Future" - addressing the young people across the world who were participating at the Symposium. To make this interesting debate available outside the scope of participants of the event, it was hosted, recorded and later broadcast by the BBC World Service Radio on 15th of May.

Some young participants were chosen to speak up their views based on their questions to the panellists. I happened to be one of them. I expressed my view that young people who have education and intelligence too often don't think of the responsibility that they bear - instead being egocentric and comfortable with the little bubble of consumerism and other learned desires they treat as important.

The whole programme is available on the BBC website. My contribution to the debate is from around 41:15 till 43:00 and, again, from 45:30 till 46:45.

What dreaming means to me...

...one can read about it in the October edition of the magazine for young entrepreneurs in Estonian.

Short summary in English: big dreams are powerful. They make you strive for more. They make you innovate. They must be the very core of what you are and what you do. That's what I have discovered throughout my life so far.

One of the best activities when I get tired

Today was one of those evenings when you become completely tired after an active day:
--> swimming pool in the early morning
--> working day with phone calls to three potential clients in Croatia (I loved to speak Croatian once again) and learning yet new things about cyber-business
--> few emails and some work on our tourism project (Reisid Vabadusse)
--> few emails and phone-calls to my friends who requested something from me
--> Skype conversation with the most beautiful girl in the world
--> Some readings for my school

When I get physically tired, I tend to become emotionally tired as well. If to let it be so and not to direct my mind, I may start to feel sorry for myself, to imagine that some of the things are worse than they really are.

One of the best solutions during such evenings (when I still don't want to go to sleep yet) has for me been reading blogs of my friends. They are listed in the right menu. I am grateful to some of my best friends who keep themselves close to me by communicating their thoughts and experiences in the web.

Internet is amazing. It keeps me close to my friends being so far away from me. I smile. :)

What I follow and what I don't

Today I had chance to write an email to one very good person who is not afraid to think and act in different way. His question was:

"How hard was it to make the important decisions that brought you to places inside and outside yourself where you have never been before? How much insecurity and doubt did strike you before, during and after such a decision? And which factors lead to everything turning out well in the end?"

My answer was pretty much about following:

• Don't follow the crowds. Crowds are stupid and ignorant, even if there is majority of them.

• Don't follow simple solutions. Simplicity often cuts the way to larger paybacks and larger picture.

• Follow smart people, people smarter and better (in something at least) than you.

• Act and speak in such a way that others would eventually start to follow you (in something at least).

• Follow your dream(-s). If you don't have one, make an effort to work on its creation.

• More than anything else - follow your heart. If you believe you are ultimately a good person, your heart must be good advisor to you too.

I like to take the risk. A calculated risk, to be sure. Because if this risk is sustained with a confident belief and power of focusing, there is nothing unachievable, I believe. There are always doubts and reasons to say "no". In any case. But problems and personal miseries allow you to develop your empathy towards hundreds of millions of people who are suffering similar challenges.

One day it pays off.

Next steps, next dreams...

I am back in Estonia since couple of days ago. My one-year-long journey to Kazakhstan has ended for now.

It is great to be back home, to see my family, my friends, my hometown.

What next?

Realizing next dreams!

In two days I am having a welcome party with my AIESEC Estonia friends in Tallinn. I am really looking forward to see them all.

In five days I am going to travel around Estonia and Latvia with one person dear to me for almost two weeks. That will be like one long beautiful dream.

In three weeks I am going to deliver training for young people who came to Estonia as volunteers - will try to impact their world-view and their understanding of Estonia. I love to do it every time I can.

In four weeks I am going back to Split, the most beautiful city I have ever been to! I was waiting for 2,5 years for this moment - to see all my old friends, to recall all nice memories, to do the things I have not managed to do there last time. Just couple of hours ago I got to know that I was selected as a chair of International Summer Program in Split, which AIESEC Split is organising. They invited me there. Another dream is coming true :)

I will take a short break after that and then - back to Oslo! The next long journey is going to start. I got accepted to Master studies in BI Norwegian School of Management, which is one of the best business-schools in Northern Europe. I am going to study Innovation and Entrepreneurship, a very exciting subject.

It was my goal since 1,5 years ago - to go to study in Master programme in business-related subject in some very good school. I am realizing my goals again :)

The world is beautiful. And I am capitalizing on its beauty as much as I can ;)

Finished my term in Kazakhstan

Since couple of days ago I am not the President of AIESEC in Kazakhstan any more. Since couple of days ago I do not have particular role in AIESEC any more. There are still quite some things to finalize, but nevertheless – a huge period of my life is coming to the end. I am becoming AIESEC alumni. 5 years, which were given to this organisation, were just amazing years of my life.

The ones who have not been members of AIESEC, can't fully understand me. But hundreds of my good friends all around the world can surely connect themselves very well with what I am writing about. I will be AIESECer till the end of my life, continuing to strive for better world inside and around me, while not being idealistic dreamer, but being executor, leader and initiator of positive change.

A change agent.

Yeah. It's me. Nice to meet you all. :)

I am extremely happy that I was given chance to finish my AIESEC career while having been the first President of independent AIESEC in Kazakhstan, a new expansion country in global AIESEC network. It was very hard time for me in the beginning, but the more I stayed in Kazakhsan, the more I loved the job I was doing and the country I was living in.

I may write more about Kazakhstan in the future, but what I truly value about this country is people. Despite all big problems Kazakhstan is facing (corruption, ecology, weak governance, highly unequal distribution of incomes), there is so much beauty in local people.

Part of this beauty was my work with new Initiative Groups. Since a few years ago I got an idea that organisation like AIESEC should be represented everywhere to give equal opportunity for all young people of my age. I can proudly say that I contributed quite a lot to this vision of mine during my last year in AIESEC. I established (with the help of certain people) four Initiative Groups in four cities where there has never been AIESEC before. Kostanay, Astana, Pavlodar and Oskemen - all these cities got Initiative Groups of AIESEC.

Work with bright young people who are eager to learn, eager to work, eager to do something useful for themselves and for their community in cities outside of Almaty, where there are so little opportunities for young people - that was probably the best part of my being President of AIESEC in Kazakhstan. Very open, nice, hospitable people not only showed their cities and nature around to me, they have also shown part of their soul. There can hardly be anything else as amazing as that.

As for my other job - managing National PR Association of Kazakhstan, this task is coming to the end too. Yesterday I had the final meeting with the Board of Association. They expressed their satisfaction with my work and I expressed my gratefulness for them trusting a guy from Estonia to be given very responsible task to accomplish.

I am grateful for another amazing year of my life. I am grateful for opportunity to live in highly dynamic interesting society. I am grateful for having experienced the hardest times of my life which have taught me to appreciate small things. I am grateful to all kind people of Kazakhstan who have made this year an exceptional time for me. I am grateful for having gotten some very dear people for me.

Kazakhstan has become another important country for me. Estonia, Croatia and Kazakhstan are three country I am strongly associating myself with.

I will be in Estonia on 23rd of June.

I am going to come back here in Kazakhstan. That's for sure.

Initiative Group Kostanay

Initiative Group Astana

Initiative Group Pavlodar

Initiative Group Oskemen

To manage my life or to live it?

I am in the period of my life when I don't simply live. I manage.

Of couse, everyone of us manages his/her own life and all parts which constitute it. I have done it eversince I became completely independent from my parents - both regarding decision-making and finances - since about five years ago.

But now I feel that it's far too easy to forget to simply live.

I am the manager of AIESEC country, responsible for one Local Committee and three extension Local Committees - all in four different cities, responsible for the team of four people, responsible for my organisation within international network, responsible for the budget and all financial transactions.

I am the manager of National PR Association of Kazakhstan, responsible for execution of all the work planned for it, responsible for financial transactions and all activities happening there.

I am the manager of part of one business idea with few of my friends. This part of this idea lies solely on me, there is no-one else able to manage it at the moment.

I am the manager of my house - there is no home-owner or some higher institution to say anything to, I have to pay all the bills, clean everything, repair all inconsistencies, communicate with all communal service providers myself.

I am the manager of my food consumption - three times a day, seven days a week I need to prepare something for me to eat, there is no-one to provide me with any food.

I am the manager of my body - being currently sick, I have to take care of myself, while buying and consuming all medicine stuff which I consider as relevant for intake.

I am the manager of my relationships - all people somehow dear to me, expect me to take a role of the manager of the relationships, because I have unconsciously agreed on this role. I need to fulfill these expectations.

But I don't give up. I don't intend to turn my life into practice of management theories, although I need to use their lessons in order to... to manage all of that...

I attended my last big AIESEC conference as a delegate, International Presidents Meeting in Macedonia in the end of February. Interesting observation: there were at least four people who have known me since at least a year ago and who said I looked somehow sad, somehow too calm.

No, I am not sad. It just confirms that I don't show up that much energy and enthusiasm as I used to - I believe I have been known for that in AIESEC for a long time.

My experience in Kazakhstan has changed me. Indeed, I became more pragmatic, less naive, more realistic, more calm.

Nevertheless, although I may not seem that energetic and optimistic anymore, I have not lost my desire to live my life. Not to manage it.

Because everything I do right now - AIESEC, PR Association, business idea development etc - it all makes sence. It all is a part of making my life and surroundings a better place.

All my relationships make sense too. They all are a part of my own universe and I am a part of their universes, because I want to belong there.

My life makes sense. My life is beautiful. And I need to write it here in order not to forget its true meaning.

Another period of my life is starting

Current state

I have not posted anything here for a while. I had quite busy time last few months...

My life so far in terms of changing the places:

1982-1999: childhood and teenage years in small town Valga
2000-2003 August: university in Tartu (1)
2003 September-2004 January: university and work in Germany
2004 February-2005 May: university in Tartu (2)
2005 June-2005 August: internship in Germany
2005 September-2006 January: AIESEC work in Croatia
2006 February-2007 June: AIESEC and Youth in Action work in Estonia

The last period described is coming to an end. The new one is starting.

I had my birthday yesterday - 21st of June. Quite often has my birthday been during the time, when some important changes happened in my life - 1997: graduating from secondary school, 2000: graduating from high school, 2005: graduating from university.

Now another big change is happening.

I gave over my work in AIESEC in Estonia (http://www.aiesec.ee/) to my successor Marjam - the person, who has become my good friend and truly soul mate. The new leadership team of AIESEC in Estonia is very strong - I believe that we will strengthen ourselves both internally and externally as a leading youth organisation in Estonia. I am satisfied with my year. Me and my team have achieved a lot. I worked with amazing people for something I truly believe in, for something I could tremendously develop myself in.

I have also finished my work as a trainer in Youth in Action (Euroopa Noored - euroopa.noored.ee). I had chance to design and conduct professional trainings for different kind of Estonian young people of different ages. My colleagues there are amazingly dedicated people, who really CARE about youth work in Estonia.

During this year I truly lived my vision - provoking internal and external smiles in myself and people around me. There is a plenty of ways I ahve done it. I just feel peace in my mind. I am happy person, because I did something meanigful.

New period of my life

On 28th of June I am taking train from Tallinn to Moscow and from there - to Almaty, Republic of Kazakhstan. I will spend one year in this country, where I am going to lead local chapter of AIESEC, being the first leader of this organisation in the country. I will need to create the stable base for organisation to function in order to provide young people of Kazakhstan with opportunities to discover their potential and develop themselves.

Apart of that, I will be working for Koger&Partnerid (http://www.koger.ee/), Estonian real estate developing and building company. I am going to conduct marketing research for the company.

Thus, I will continue to work in NGO sector, but will also contribute to business development. That will be another step to be related to two areas of my passion: 1) connecting business and NGO sector, 2) organisational activities' expansion abroad.

Abroad in June

After the end of my term as President of AIESEC in Estonia, I went for a week to Rotterdam (AIESEC global Steering Team meeting) and to Prague (CEE regional AIESEC Presidents meeting) in June.

That kind of meetings broaden the horizons and challenge your worldview, that's for sure! You have opportunity to have in-depth discussions with smart young people from different nationalities, who share your passion. Short list of some discussion topics I have had with my colleagues from other AIESEC countries:

• Tourism industry in Tanzania
• Future of Serbia
• Need for certain kind of young people in Russia
• Political and societal challenges for modern Turkey
• Possible solutions for tensions between Baltics and Russia
• Corruption in Africa and in Europe

Besides that, I simply had great fun with some of my good friends from another countries - Ioana, Vlada, Gaspar, Evca, Nastja, Karina and others.

I am really happy that I had chance to visit one of my favourite cities in Europe again - Prague. I love this city and I really want to live there for some short period of time! Maybe I will come to make business there once...

My friends in AIESEC

Thanks to AIESEC I have got the friends for my whole life, I am sure of that. Those are the people, whom I know both in work and fun. I can always rely on them, because we have simply done so many things together... And I am sure that they will be successful people, some of the true leaders. Looking right now at the people like Siim, Priit, Marjam, Kristi, Mari, Marko, Siim, Viljo, Mairi, Kadi, Maris, Jaan, Evelyn, Kristi etc etc etc, I am simply sure that this is the generation, which will leave their footprint after them.

I really want to meet all my AIESEC friends in 5, 10, 15, 20, 30 years and see whether we have fulfilled our dreams and where are we heading.

My friends in AIESEC did amazing present for me - I got photo-camera (I lost my previous one at IPM in Egypt) at our last national conference. That was a present from all members of AIESEC in Estonia. As kind of recognition for what I have done. That was amazing feeling.

I had amazing feeling also yesterday in my 2in1 party: farewell and birthday party. So many cool people came to congratulate me! I am grateful for what kind of friends I have here.

Long trip to Kazakhstan

One of my dreams for the last few years has been to travel by Trans-Siberian train through whole Russia until the very Eastern part of Russia - Sahalin and Kamchatka. I am going to partly fulfill this dream the next week - me and and my friend Viljo are going to travel by train about four days through half of Russia and Kazakhstan. I have never been so long in the train. I have almost not been to Russia, except of my homeland Petserimaa (ex-Estonian area, which now belongs to Russia).

I am eager to see this huge country, where part of my roots is coming from.

I am very eager to have this adventurous trip.

I m very eager to start my one-year-long journey in Kazakhstan.

Future of this blog

This blog will be the main channel of my communication towards all my friends around the world and to myself after a while. I am going to update it 1-3 times a month, will also open a page for uploading the photos. Sometimes I am going to write in Estonian, because I need language practice :)

The circle around the dream

The picture on the left is the one I was using during my application for AIESEC International team 2007-2008. I both included it in my written application and used during verbal presentation.

That was the part of my personal brand as AIESEC International candidate. The picture is taken by Marina from Croatia, a former AIESEC-er and highly talented young photographer. This picture symbolizes a dream for me. A dream, which is caught by the person. His personal dream. There a circle around it. He knows, what is his dream now. He knows, why it is his dream. He knows how to get there.

AIESEC International team unites about 24 people from all around the world, who altogether lead AIESEC globally in 100 countries. That's where I was applying and didn't get selected.

My brand didn't work out. There is no circle around my dream right now. I lost election.

Previously, I was loosing mainly on personal level (a lot), but almost never on professional level. I was the best graduate of my high-school, the best-scoring applicant for my faculty, the best graduate of my course, I was leading the show for around 400 people in concert hall of Oslo when I was just 20, I was named the best new member of AIESEC in Tartu, I won all the AIESEC elections beforehand, I was named the best facilitator on AIESEC conference few times, I have gotten many job offers during past few years...

Finally, I got rejected. It's great, because I got to know once again that I have a lot ahead of me to develop. I am not perfect. And I am proud of that. I am proud to write it here. I am damn proud to have been AI Director candidate.

But did I lose? Yes, I lost elections, which I wanted to win. Yes, I lost my photo camera in Egypt, which I really liked and which was present from my parents.

Both of these things are on the same page for me right now. Those are not real losses. Those are the changes in the context, which I have to adapt for.

What is the real loss however, is when a person, somehow dear to you, just disappears. Me and many more people just lose this person forever. One car accident can kill so many dreams...

I feel anger now. And this anger motivates me. Usually, I am motivated by the positive energy. But right now, I have anger incorporated there. I know that it will pass, as I have just too many different emotions inside of me. I know that I will have peace in my mind and sould soon enough.

But right now I just feel that I want to achieve a lot during the rest of my term as a President of AIESEC in Estonia. I will make it the best year so far for my organisation and I will make everything possible that the next year will be even better.

I will make it for the sake of all losses I have experienced recently. All the losses, which make me stronger person.