Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Seven arguments against gay marriage

1. Being homosexual is not natural. Hence, the gay marriage should not be allowed either.

2. Allowing gays to marry? Who's next? Dogs with other dogs? Cats with other cats? Paedophiles with minors?

3. A gay marriage is a bad, bad example for children. Promoting homosexuality in that way will turn more children to be gays.

4. Marriage has traditionally been one of the very sacred symbols of society and its cultural/spiritual values. We cannot allow these values to be ruined by legalizing the acts of sodomy.

5. Homosexuality is basically a sickness. We cannot allow sick people to marry because they are sick.

6. People claiming to be gay make it out of fashion or because they want to be different or because they had gotten a child trauma. These are no valid reasons to allow them to get married.

7. Gay couple cannot give a birth to a child. This is the main point for having the very institution of marriage. Why bother then?

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I have just summed up the arguments that I have been hearing from many people throughout many years. And I still keep on hearing them.

Let me be clear on few things. First, I'm a heterosexual man and I am very happy about it. I've always liked girls, I've always been attracted to beautiful women.

Second, I know a lot of people who are gays.

Third, I support the legal ability of gay people to sign a partnership agreement, in case it allows them to be legally treated as people closely related to each other (it's important for the cases such as inheritance, having common property, and so on). I don't necessarily think it should be called "marriage" - rather a "partnership" in legal terms like in Norway.

Fourth, I don't necessarily enjoy watching two men passionately kissing - I don't want to be exposed to it when I choose not to. I wouldn't be participating in a gay parade (although I have nothing against it taking place). I think that the union between a man and a woman has to bear its primary meaning in the society and has to be promoted so - otherwise, we as humankind will die out. But what I am talking here about are the fundamental human rights of people that differ in their sexual orientation from the majority.

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I decided to write about it after having attended a celebration party of two gay men who had signed a partnership agreement in Norway. They organised a party without calling it a wedding, although many elements of a traditional wedding were there. It was a great event. I enjoyed seeing people having chance to express their happiness without being feared that they will be prosecuted or terrorised for that

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Now back to the most common arguments against the gay marriage.


1. Being homosexual is not natural. Hence, the gay marriage should not be allowed either.

Homosexuality has existed in humankind since we know it documented. Homosexuality has been reported numerous times among other species. A different type of sexuality is coined by nature. How can it be called "not natural" then?


2. Allowing gays to marry? Who's next? Dogs with other dogs? Cats with other cats? Paedophiles with minors?

Those who are making such comparisons miss one important point: unlike minors and animals, gay people have consciousness and are able to be responsible for their intentions and acts. Two adults who are mostly contributing to the wealth, development and creativity of society decide for themselves, being fully aware of the consequences of such act.


3. A gay marriage is a bad, bad example for children. Promoting homosexuality in that way will turn more children to be gays.

As I wrote earlier, there is no scientific proof that you can switch between a different type of sexuality, because you were told to do so. But there is a proof that a certain percentage of population is gay by default.

On the other hand, however exposed I would be to being a gay - no, thanks - I will not exchange my natural desire for women for anything else. I clearly remember my music teacher in the kindergarten. I was 5. She was around 30. I was in love and... wanted her to be my second mum (how else should have I imagined her to be in that age?). I don't think that my sentiment towards the music teacher would have somehow be influenced by the knowledge that there are two men or two women living together somewhere in a happy family.


4. Marriage has traditionally been one of the symbols of society and its cultural/spiritual values. We cannot allow these values to be ruined by legalizing the acts of sodomy.

It's funny to hear about the family values when, according to statistics, almost half of the marriages in the Western world end with divorce (I believe the percentage is smaller elsewhere primarily due to the strong social stigma related to a divorce). On the other hand, so many children are born into the families where parents are not married. Or - worse - into the situation when they get raised without a father. There have been cheating wives and alcoholic husbands for as long as we know human society. I don't believe the act of legalisation of gay marriage would somehow make the situation even worse...


5. Homosexuality is basically a sickness. We cannot allow sick people to marry because they are sick.

That's essentially the same as "naturalness" argument. It's a well-known rhetorical tactics - to call something you don't like "sick". And even if it is "sickness", shall we prohibit all other "sick" people to get married? HIV-positives, asthmatics - should they be doomed to stay single?


6. People claiming to be gay make it out of fashion or because they want to be different or because they had gotten a child trauma. These are no valid reasons to allow them to get married.

Once again - I don't know anyone who has chosen his or her sexuality. The people usually discover their sexuality, not choose it. A girl kissing another girl in a night club for fun doesn't equal with choosing your sexuality.

And if someone has turned to be a gay due to a child trauma? Well, that's the same as "sickness" argument - I don't think it's right to prohibit people to get married because they had traumatic childhood.


7. Gay couple cannot give a birth to a child. This is the main point for having the very institution of marriage. Why bother then?

Gays can't have children - that's true (in some places they can adopt children - and I'm not going to argue for or against this - that's another topic). However, as I mentioned earlier, there are more and more children being born into families where parents are not married. Thus, I don't see a clear correlation between marriage and having children.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Beautiful Estonian nature

I spent a wonderful holiday in Estonia in June. One great part of it was a four-days-long hiking trip in South-Eastern Estonia with four friends of mine. We spent very quality time together - as we haven't seen each other for a long time - hope to be able to repeat such trips every year! We had a lot of fun, some good deep conversations and truly enjoyed the sights of beautiful nature around us.

Here are some snapshots of what we saw around us:

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