Saturday, May 05, 2012

How to ruin your message with professional clichés

I have recently received an invitation to a webinar organised by one international company to my work mailbox (they had probably gotten it from some database). It would otherwise not catch my attention too much - but after scrolling through it a little bit, I realised that it was a prime example of how to ruin the whole message with fancy sounding clichés.

Hi Deniss,

My name is [...], Senior Director of Feedback Management at [..]. I wanted to let you know about some information that could impact on your role at [...]. A recent [...] study, “Customer Feedback Management: Leveraging the Voice of the Customer to Amplify Business Results,” revealed that companies successfully leveraging Voice of the Customer (VOC) programs accomplish quantifiable year-over-year performance gains including increased annual revenue and higher customer satisfaction ratings.
[...] I will be hosting a webinar, based on the study’s findings [...]
I hope you’ll be able to join us for what is sure to be an informative webinar that will yield valuable take-aways for your organization!

I wonder if I am the only one who starts to smile when reading messages which exhibit phrases like "information that could impact on your role", "companies successfully leveraging Voice of the Customer (VOC) programs accomplish quantifiable year-over-year performance gains" and "yield valuable take-aways for your organization"?

Keep it short and simple - I hope I follow this effective rule in my business correspondence.

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