Review: To Sell is Human: the Surprising Truth About Moving Others

To Sell is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others by Daniel H. Pink
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Although not as good book as Pink's classics "Drive", I still liked "To Sell is Human".

The first part about what sales was like before and what it means now was somewhat dubious, although I liked how Pink framed selling into "moving people" - this is something we all do.

But the subsequent parts were rather good. Like in "Drive", there are simple and short arguments supported by social studies and ample research. And I liked in particular various exercises to try and test various good practices. I have actually tested some of them on my team ("have a conversation with a time traveller" trying to explain a contemporary product to someone who lived few hundreds years ago; try one-word pitch, subject-line pitch or Pixar pitch) - it went really well.

Attune to your counterpart, try to really get into what they need.
Mimic strategically.
Don't be overly extraverted or introverted - being an ambivert is best.
Practice interrogative self-talk (Can I do it? Why?)
Be positive, but back up when needed.
Be clear.
Know how to pitch your idea - forget the elevator pitch, there are six innovative ways to structure your pitch.
Make your partner look good. Say "Yes and" (not an easy one in the real life!)
Most of all, make it purposeful.
Don't do upselling, do upserving instead.

I really liked the idea bout clarifying others’ motives with two “irrational” questions.

Suppose your daughter is delaying and denying, and generally resisting studying for a big end-of-the-year exam. You wouldn’t say, “Young lady, you must study,” or “Please, please study for the exam”. Instead, you could ask her two questions:
1. “On a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 meaning ‘not the least bit ready’ and 10 meaning ‘totally ready’, how ready are you to study?”
After she offers her answer, ask
2. “Why didn’t you pick a lower number?”
This is an unexpected question, it is not a binary off-on, yes-no question. It can expose an apparent “No” as an actual “Maybe”. Even more important, as your daughter explains her reasons for being a 4 rather than a 3, she begins announcing her own reasons for studying. She moves from defending her current behaviour to articulating why, at some level, she wants to behave differently.

Review: A Contract with God and Other Tenement Stories

A Contract with God and Other Tenement Stories by Will Eisner
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A depiction of the life in Bronx, a suburb of New York inhabited mainly by the families of recent immigrants (many of them Jews) during the 1930s.

These are four separate stories, all of them quite dark, but with philosophical context.

The book really pictures well dull life of poorish suburb of New York of the 1930s. The hopes, disappointments and personal tragedies of its characters were all vividly depicted.

I personally would have preferred one longer story with several characters involved. The visual art is interesting, but too exaggerating to my taste.

Review: Ultimate Guide to Google Ads

Ultimate Guide to Google Ads by Perry Marshall
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A solid introduction to the world of Google Ads. I liked the general principle that the book was preaching - how not to give away too much money to Google. At the same time, when relevant, it encourages to use Google's machine learning when picking the bidding strategies for various keywords.

I also liked that some general principles of marketing were well introduced in the context of Google Ads. Be sure you know what is your business' USPs. Follow the 80/20 rules - also in Google Ads, 20% of the keywords bring you 80% of profit. Measure relentlessly - most don't do that, so you can have an edge there.

Some chapters were somewhat superficial, some included a lot of self-promotion by the authors.

Overall, can recommend the book.

Review: Täiesti tavaline merereis

Täiesti tavaline merereis by Meelis Kupits
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Mõnus lihtne lugu ühest ENSV kalurikolhoosile kuulunud laevareisist 1970-ndatel. Koomiksi visuaal on tore ja kena - sobib nii täiskasvanutele kui vanematele lastele.

Õpib üht-teist ajaloo kohta: kuidas tollal kalapüük käis, kus täpsemini Nõukogude Liidu laevad käisid, kuidas detailselt kogu see (plaani)majandus toimis. Hariv ja tore lugemine ning pildiline materjal!

Review: Radical Candor

Radical Candor: Be a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity by Kim Malone Scott
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Kim Scott has worked at Google and Apple. The book is the collection of her experiences from there as well as her management beliefs packaged into an advice for managers.

At times, overly simplistic (yes, you need to provide feedback and encourage receiving it; yes, you need to organise and lead well-planned meetings) and repetitive, it nevertheless is a rather good management book in my view. Some of the lessons I take from it:

Radical candor: provide direct feedback and care personally thereby. You need both. Providing feedback without caring is obnoxious. Caring and never challenging directly is ruinous empathy.

How to fire people so that it is right for you, for the person in question and for the others? "When you fire someone, you create the possibility for the person to excel and find happiness performing meaningful work elsewhere. Part of getting a good job is leaving a bad one, or one that’s bad for you." and "Retaining people who are doing bad work penalizes the people doing excellent work. Failing to deal with a performance issue is not fair to the rest of the team."

Driving results collaboratively by "Get Stuff Done" wheel: Listen-Clarify-Debate-Decide-Persuade-Implement-Learn-Listen. Every step needs to be taken separately to ensure the best results.

"Loud listening": the best type of listening and debating culture in organisation is “strong opinions, weakly held”.

A distinction between "Big Debate" and "Big Decision" meetings: sometimes it is useful to have both kinds, separately, in that order.

Managing decision-making: "Don’t grab a decision just because the debate has gotten painful. A boss’s job is often to keep the debate going rather than to resolve it with a decision."

The right way to provide feedback is using technique “situation behavior impact”: 1) the situation you saw, 2) the behaviour (i.e. what the person did, either good or bad), 3) the impact you observed. This helps avoid making judgements about the person's intelligence, common sense, innate goodness, or other personal attributes.

Another useful tip on providing feedback: "Don’t “save up” guidance for 1:1 or a performance review."

Planned think time: "In addition to regularly planned meetings, people are going to want to talk to you about this or that; urgent matters will arise that you must deal with. You need time to clarify your own thinking, or to help the people who work for you clarify theirs. You should not be tyrannised by your calendar."

Review: The Arab of the Future: A Childhood in the Middle East, 1978-1984

The Arab of the Future: A Childhood in the Middle East, 1978-1984 by Riad Sattouf
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A graphic novel by a famous French cartoonist of French-Syrian descent. It is a graphical memoir of his early life in Gaddafi's Libya, then France, then older Assad's Syria. Presented through the eyes of a young child, it catches interesting details of everyday life and sheds the light on cruel and bizarre world of Arab dictatorships of the 1970s-1980s.

Beautiful cartoon art, captivating story, funny and terrifying moments to follow.

Review: Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I liked the basic premise of this book: don't leave your kids to mostly socialise with their friends (although it might be tempting for hard-working and tired parents).

The book looks at the parent-child relationship through the lens of the theory of attachment: in order to grow up as self-esteemed and independent individuals, children need safety and predictability provided by the important adults in their lives. Although it might be fun to occasionally be with the friends, the relationships with them are always contingent on pleasing each other, always demanding. Two or more immature individuals cannot give unconditional acceptance to each other.

It was revealing to read this:

"True friendship is not possible until a certain level of maturity has been realised. Until children are capable of true friendship, they really do not need friends, just attachments."

.
The book has several flaws: authors are repeating the same points over and over again, are being constantly nostalgic for "good old days when kids obeyed to their parents" and are trying to persuade via fears of children's violence, disobedience etc.

Nevertheless, it is a very good reminder to parents that we need to preserve our ties to our children and don't easily let them go to our smaller "competitors" as authors put it.

I also found useful the tips from the chapter on discipline:
- Use connection, not separation (such as time-outs), to bring a child into line
- When problems occur, work the relationship, not the incident (“This is not good. We’ll talk about this later.”)
- When things aren’t working for the child, draw out the tears instead of trying to teach a lesson (“I cannot let you do that,” “I know you really wanted this to happen.”)
- Solicit good intentions instead of demanding good behaviour (“I know it isn’t what you wanted to happen.")
- Draw out the mixed feelings instead of trying to stop impulsive behaviour (“We are having such a good time together right now. I remember this morning when you weren’t too happy with me.”)
- When dealing with an impulsive child, try scripting the desired behaviour instead of demanding maturity (“This is the time to use your quiet voice.”)

Review: No Filter: The Inside Story of Instagram

No Filter: The Inside Story of Instagram by Sarah Frier
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"No Filter" is a great dive into the history of Instagram - from how its co-founders Systrom and Krieger started it to how it has evolved into one of the most ubiquitous social networks in the world and how it has been embraced into the social network empire of Facebook.

The book is very well researched, involves the good deal of drama and is a very smooth read.

I loved how the author presented the major dilemmas that Instagram has been part of. Celebration of beauty around us and useful tips and recommendations, yes. The culture of bending the reality and searching for anything "instragrammable too. Instead of reflecting the reality, the reality has started to reflect what was on Instagram (e.g. "popular" food recipes, travel destinations, body shapes).

It was insightful to read how the management of Instagram - and then also Facebook/Meta - has responded to those challenges (and many others too like trolling, cybercrimes, disinformation campaigns) at various points of time.

It is fascinating to think what will Instagram be like in 10 year from now. Will we even have one then?